Tilting the Balance

“I wish we were in Denver, ” Barbara said.

“Well, so do I, ” Sam Yeager answered as he helped her out of the wagon. “The weather can’t be helped, though. ” Late-season snowstorms had held them up as they made their way into Colorado. “Fort Collins is a pretty enough little place. ”

Lincoln Park, in which several Met Lab wagons were drawn up, was a study in contrasts. In the center of the square stood a log cabin, the first building that had gone up on the Poudre River. The big gray sandstone mass of the Carnegie Public Library showed how far the area had come in just over eighty years.

But Barbara said, “That’s not what I mean. ” She took his arm and steered him secretsbooks.ru away from the wagon. He looked back toward Ulhass and Ristin, decided the Lizard POWs weren’t going anywhere, and let her guide him.

She led him over to a tree stump out of earshot of anybody else. “What’s up? ” he asked, checking the Lizards again. They hadn’t poked their heads out of the wagon; they were staying down in the straw where it was warmer. He was as sure as sure could be that they wouldn’t pick this moment to make a break, but ingrained duty made him keep an eye on them anyhow.

Then Barbara asked him something that sounded as if it came out of the blue: “Remember our wedding night? ”

“Huh? I’m not likely to forget it. ” As Sam remembered, a broad smile spread over his face.

Barbara didn’t smile back. “Remember what we didn’t do on our wedding night? ” she persisted.

“There wasn’t a whole lot we didn’t do on our wedding night. We-” Yeager stopped when he took a close look at Barbara’s half-worried, half-smiling expression. A light went on inside his head. Slowly, he said, “We didn’t use a rubber. ”

“That’s right, ” she said. “I thought it would be safe enough, and even if it wasn’t-” Her smile grew broader, but still had a twist in it. “My time of the month should have started a week ago. It didn’t, and I’ve always been very steady. So I think I’m expecting a baby, Sam. ”

Had it been a normal marriage in a normal time, he would have shouted, That’s wonderful! The time was anything but normal, the marriage very new. Yeager knew Barbara hadn’t wanted to get pregnant. He set down his rifle, took her in his arms. They clung to each other for a couple of minutes. “It’ll work out, ” he said at last. “One way or another, we’ll take care of it, and it’ll be okay. ”

“I’m scared, ” she said. “Not many doctors, or equipment, and us in the middle of the war-”

“Denver’s supposed to be better off than most places, ” he said. “It’ll be all right, honey. ” Please, God make it all right, he thought, something that would have been closer to a real prayer if God had given any signs lately of listening. After another few seconds, he went on, “I hope it’s a girl. ”

“You do? Why? ”

“Because she’d probably look just like you. ”

Her eyes widened. She stood up on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss. “You’re sweet, Sam. It wasn’t what I expected, but-” She kicked at the dirty snow and at the mud that showed through it. “What can you do? ”

For a career minor leaguer, What can you do? was an article of faith that ranked right alongside the commandments Moses had brought down from the mountain. Actually, Yeager knew there was something you could do if you wanted to. But finding an abortionist wouldn’t be easy, and the procedure was liable to be more dangerous than having the baby. If Barbara brought it up, he’d think about it then. Otherwise, he’d keep his mouth shut.

She said, “We’ll just do the best we can, that’s all. Right? ”

“Sure, honey, ” Sam said. “Like I said, we’ll manage. The idea kind of grows on me, you know what I mean? ”

“Yes, I do. ” Barbara nodded. “I didn’t want this to happen, but now that it has… I’m scared, as I said, but I’m excited, too. Something of ours, to go on after we’re gone-that’s something special, and something wonderful. ”

“Yeah. ” Yeager saw himself tying a little girl’s shoes, or maybe playing catch with a boy and teaching him to hit well enough to get all the way to the top in pro ball. What the father might have done, the son would. He would, anyhow, if the Lizards were beaten and there ever was pro ball again. Sam should have been in spring training, getting ready for yet another season on the road, hoping to move up as better players got drafted, still with a ghostly chance at a big-league slot and glory. As it was…

Someone shouted, “Back to the wagons, everybody. They’re going to billet us at the college on the south edge of town. ”

Yeager hadn’t thought Fort Collins big enough to boast a college. “You never can tell, ” he muttered, which would have been a good handle for the whole past year. Hand in hand, he and Barbara walked back toward Ullhass and Ristin. “Careful getting up there, ” he warned as she scrambled in.

She made a face at him. “For God’s sake, Sam, I’m not made out of cut glass. If you start treating me as if I were going to fall to pieces any minute now, we’ll have trouble. ”

“Sorry, ” he said. “I’ve never had to worry about anybody expecting before. ”

The wagon driver’s head whipped around. “You gonna have a baby? That’s great. Congratulations! ”

“Thanks, ” she said. As the wagon rattled forward, she shook her head wryly. Yeager knew she wasn’t as delighted as she might have been. He wasn’t, either. He couldn’t imagine a worse time to try to raise a kid. But all they could do now was give it their best shot.

Sure enough, the Colorado State College of Agriculture and the Mechanic Arts sat on the southern border of Fort Collins. Its red and gray brick buildings clustered along an oval drive that ran through the heart of the campus. The cafeteria wasn’t far from the south end of the drive. Women in surprisingly clean white dished out fried chicken and biscuits. That was good, but the burnt-grain brew they called coffee tried to bite off Yeager’s tongue.

“Where do we sleep tonight? ” he asked as he walked out of the cafeteria.